The Secret to Becoming Brave and Bold
Unlock your greatest potential and authentically face your fears
Picture this. You’re waiting in line for a coffee, thinking about what you’ll say, how to say it, where to put your hands, and analyzing each step before it happens.
Now, imagine that you are comfortably relaxed in your skin, acting spontaneously and originally. Deeply present in your environment.
Envision a future. No matter what life experience, accident, mistake, or struggle, you always arrive in the perfect position to handle yourself like a master.
You can be the captain of your ship, personal hero, and MVP of your story if you set your expectations reasonably well and persist in practicing your patterns of calmly acting cool.
Setting out in the world as a unique human can be stressful and takes tremendous courage. To be yourself is not only the greatest gift to oneself but to the very population of the human race (in my opinion.)
If you ask why we would even want to be so unabashed and bold in our direct experience of life — my answer is simple:
Living out on the edge of our comfort zone makes us feel genuinely and fully alive.
Colors are brighter, sounds are crisper, and sensations are stronger.
Suppose we can repeatedly rise to be our best selves regardless of our prior conditioning, beliefs, and morals. In that case, we spring to the highest level of joy we can maintain without any external substance.
So, how do we boldly stand forward and let the world’s weight rest on our shoulders?
One breath at a time? One step at a time? One day at a time?
Yes.
But let’s break it down more concretely into one thought at a time.
To rise and fill the shoes of the greatest you, we must face the heat of not living up to our ideals. We will be “rusty, disorderly, confused, and awkward,” at least I certainly am.
We can try to “fake it until we make it,” but from my experience, that made me feel slightly douchy and like a try-hard wannabee.
Instead, my latest approach has been the following, with mixed results that keep improving.
To be unapologetically true to my very core I:
· Acknowledge that I have flaws and don’t want to pretend I don’t.
· Admit that I am silly, shy, and a tad stranger than most, and I want to express myself.
· Accept me so I don’t need to be validated by others.
Before I continue with more tidbits of my journey, I want to remind you that this is a continuous process that I have leaped forward and fallen back to hundreds of times over the past decade.
The most challenging part is when you are out in the real world and get caught up in your old way of thinking.
It was like, “I wonder what this person thinks of me,” or “Am I coming across as an idiot.”
As soon I get caught up in my head, the siren goes off, “I’ve done it now, I have lost their respect, I’m trying too hard, they don’t like me, nobody will.”
Some bullshit like this could slip into a depressive funk quick or an anti-social spectrum for weeks.
So, the way out of this torment is, again, to accept yourself. And I have found that these thoughts will come less frequently.
A big reminder paramount to my successful socializing is to call out to myself (silently) — “hey, I hear you, but that’s not true.”
This practice feels like calling out the BS that makes me feel lousy, and instead of trying to hide from it — I courageously invite it in.
This is the stuff legends are made of.
That’s right, the sayings, thoughts, words, and images that pop up and terrify us instead of repressing and running away — say,
“Hey, I don’t believe you. Here I am, doing something out of my comfort zone, and I will not stop being here. Try your best, but I am committed to standing tall and being myself, regardless of how uncomfortable I am right now!”
That is certainly a mouthful (spoken to yourself in your inner voice), so I’d recommend making it snappy, but this will undoubtedly take power out of the negative words.
And don’t just believe me. Seriously, try this practice (in your own words is extremely powerful) and see if it helps you overcome fear, take on new challenges, and progress further in your life.
Along these lines, you will get more and more trusting of yourself that no matter what slander your mind tries to sell you, you can repeatedly stand up and monitor it will enthusiasm.
To live on your edge will require you to do things that make you uncomfortable, bringing up a negative Nancy or inner bitch within.
The goal is not to say, “uh, you’re so annoying. Why do you always do this? Why do you have to be so mean? I wish you would leave me alone.”
Getting into an argument with yourself makes you feel even more psychotic than usual, and it doesn’t solve any problems (from experience).
But on the contrary, what does work is: “Hey friend, I know you are just saying that because that’s how you were trained to respond, but I am safe, and I can handle this situation.”
Yes, initially, this may sound silly indeed. Still, it is also a healthy way to integrate all the voices inside into a more wholesome identity instead of a fragmented, unrealistic view of reality.
If you would like to follow me, I will also show you exercises to mimic panic and how to deal with stress effectively.
You can also feel free to reach out to me at tyler@mind2musclefitness.com, and I can create custom exercises to help you reach your goals.
Until next time my friend, enjoy the journey.
Tyler D.
